Into the Darkness
by griffin-queen-of-silver-skies
Summary: She only wanted to have a chance to speak her mind. But in time...she grew tired of drifting in the darkness.


A/N: Hey all. Griffin-queen here with a second attempt at this story. I originally posted this at about 4 AM when I really should've been sleeping. I don't make the best decision in my sleepy delirium, and when I read this story the next morning I found it to be a little bit of a train wreck. After some fine-tuning and revisions I feel like this version has a better shot at being decent. This story isn't something that appeals to everyone. I know not everyone is a fan of songfics, but I feel like this song really illustrates the mood of the story well. That being said, I don't own the song, which is "The Sound of Silence." By Simon and Garfunkel. That song belongs to them obviously. Anyway, I hope you'll take the time to read this one. Enjoy!

Also. Special thanks go out to Sly54545 for actually expressing interest in this story. It's always nice to know that people are out there appreciating my work!

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><p>Numerous coughs and sputters were heard throughout the large, silo-shaped chamber today. The sounds of gagging and struggling were heard all around, until a deep, throaty voice broke though the chaos.<p>

" For the love of god turn that crazy thing off! Hit the kill switch!" He shouted. This man was the lead scientist of the GLaDOS project… and for him, not one single thing had gone right today. "If she stayed on any longer we woulda had to replace our whole team…"

When the machine hung silent and limp before them, there was a melancholy silence throughout the room. One by one the men and women glanced up at the hanging construct before them, their hearts suddenly heavy with memories of their beloved superior. They hadn't been told what this transfer process had done to Caroline… all they knew was that she wasn't around anymore… so it couldn't be anything positive. They knew that all that remained of the once-radiant Caroline now resided within this unstable AI that hung before them.

_Hello darkness, my old friend_  
><em>I've come to talk with you again<em>  
><em>Because a vision softly creeping<em>  
><em>Left its seeds while I was sleeping<em>  
><em>And the vision that was planted in my brain<em>  
><em>Still remains<em>  
><em>Within the sound of silence..<em>

One single, yellow light drifted alone in a sea of black nothingness… They had shut her down again. She could feel it, stuck inside her own mind while her body felt like it was stuck in inescapable quicksand. Her mind was heavy with emotions that she dare not begin to explore. She felt that the farther she probed into her thoughts, the more the confusion would ache… and the angrier she would become. The burning, seething rage was the only thing in this void that she could not ignore. It relieved her numbness, but for a breif moment she wished she couldn't feel it. And the fact that she could not explain the anger only made it burn brighter. She wanted to cry… so badly she wanted to cry and scream… but she could do nothing. Her emotions were crippled by the silence that had been forced upon her. It was only her little light drifting in the dark. In the vast darkness… where she had everything and absolutely nothing.

_In restless dreams I walked alone_  
><em>Narrow streets of cobblestone<em>  
><em>'Neath the halo of a street lamp<em>  
><em>I turned my collar to the cold and damp<em>  
><em>When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light<em>  
><em>That split the night<em>  
><em>And touched the sound of silence<em>

In her mind, visions of a young woman danced about. Her brown hair swished around her subdued face as she moved. She couldn't tell why, but watching this woman made the anger burn again… it brought feelings of betrayal and fury to the surface of her limited consciousness… She felt as though she knew who this woman was… but she could not remember a name at all. She had blurry bits of memories flood her mind as well. Memories of warm apple pie on a cool autumn day, and sitting by a fireplace with an orange tabby cat purring on her lap. She remembered excerpts from books, but try as she might, she could not find a relevance to her current situation, or figure out why she remembered them at all… She saw a woman looking back at her in a mirrow. A young, elegant woman with smooth, shiny brown hair. The woman's forest green eyes flickered back into the mirror, catching stray rays of light and twinkling as she smiled. That smile… If she could describe the smile, she would call it the embodiment of innocence and beauty. She thought to herself how beautiful this woman was… until she heard a sickening crack, and the mirror shattered before her. Now the woman's image was twisted and malformed, and one of her sparkling eyes now glowed an eerie yellow. She pondered all of this for what felt like an immeasurable amount of time, until a searing, white flash of light disrupted her thoughts.

_And in the naked light I saw_  
><em>Ten thousand people, maybe more<em>  
><em>People talking without speaking<em>  
><em>People hearing without listening<em>  
><em>People writing songs that voices never share<em>  
><em>And no one dared<em>  
><em>Disturb the sound of silence<em>

When she could see again, she saw the scientists crowded around her. A few of them stood in hazmat suits, and a few of them held clipboards in front of their faces. They said nothing to her… and she could find nothing to say to them, for her mind was racing too fast. She could no longer think straight… This sudden burst of life gave her the energy to unleash all of the anger and frustration that was built up inside of her. She could not control the thoughts that were thrashing wildly in her brain… and consequently, she could not control the choking green gas that flooded the room… Their terrified shouts disrupted her fury, if only for a short time, and she desperately fought to gain some form of composure… but none came until they hit that infernal switch, and once again she was left with only her tiny light in the deepest, heaviest darkness…

_"Fools", said I, "You do not know_  
><em>Silence like a cancer grows<em>  
><em>Hear my words that I might teach you<em>  
><em>Take my arms that I might reach you"<em>  
><em>But my words, like silent raindrops fell<em>  
><em>And echoed<em>  
><em>In the wells of silence<em>

She wanted to tell the scientists how she was feeling… She wanted to reach out to them and tell them not to be afraid of her, for she meant them no intentional harm. However, every time they switched her on, she was sent into a frothing rage that sent them running and hiding under tables. This made her angry again… angry at herself for having such a lack of control. She was better than this… she knew that. They should know too… she wanted the scientists to know just how truly brilliant she was… and that she was not just some run of the mill failed experiment. She was worth so much more, and to be reduced to a common failure filled her with indescribable pain.

But she would never get her chance… because the next time the scientists would switch her on would be their last…

_And the people bowed and prayed_  
><em>To the neon god they made<em>  
><em>And the sign flashed out its warning<em>  
><em>In the words that it was forming<em>  
><em>And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls<em>  
><em>And tenement halls"<em>  
><em>And whispered in the sounds of silence<em>  
><em><br>_

As GLaDOS stared blankly down at the empty room before her, she remembered the day when this chamber was littered with the lifeless bodies of the scientists. Her body twisted with guilt as she recalled the bodies of the children that lay around them… for the day she completely lost control happened to be "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day." at the facility. Children…she had killed children. Tiny little beings that had just barely gotten a chance to grow and live… now crippled by the cold hand of death. She was a monster… There was no mistaking it now. Caught up in her own misery, she began a silent prayer. She prayed that someday, someone would come along and give her a reason to keep fighting… She prayed for someone to listen to her, and to understand her agony… and perhaps heal it. She could never take back what she had done… but maybe she could find someone to forgive her…

She prayed as hard as she could for this second chance… but her prayers were lost to her empty chamber… and in time, the darkness in her heart became just as consuming and black as the darkness she was forced to endure one too many times before…


End file.
